William, it’s great that you have used rhetorical questions. Be careful though, this reads more like a narrative than a diary. Perhaps you could include more of you feelings to show us how you felt. What other time connectives could you use rather than ‘then’?
William, it’s great that you have used rhetorical questions. Be careful though, this reads more like a narrative than a diary. Perhaps you could include more of you feelings to show us how you felt. What other time connectives could you use rather than ‘then’?
i like your work but can you make your work
a bit more bigger pleas.
I like your describing but I think you can do better punctuation.
I like the rhetorical question like what was it doing here.Next time type quicker and more words.